


False Cross

by Enchantable



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Brothers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantable/pseuds/Enchantable
Summary: “I’m not good for him,” Michael says, “not right now.”“Who decided that?” Greg asks. Michael fumbles with whether or not the question is rhetorical, “I’m guessing it wasn’t Alex. All things considered.”“Alex doesn’t always know what’s good for him.”
Relationships: Michael Guerin & Gregory Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 247
Collections: Something Cosmic





	False Cross

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt: Hmm I’d be interested in your take on how they process all this mess and work it out. I’d love some Gregory manes wingman assistance to help them get back together

“My brakes are acting funny.”

Micheal bites back his grumpy sigh. He can blame it on sleep depravation. Greg saved his life, the least he can do is make sure his breaks are working properly. Even though the truth is he’d rather have an entire break from the Manes clan. Life saving brothers included.

“Sure I can take a look,” he says.

“I appreciate it,” Greg says.

Michael nods and gets his stuff together. Greg stands there, doing the thing Alex does where he’s perfectly still and completely unrelaxed. Alex does it. Now Michael knows for sure where he got it from. Michael sighs and drops his tools and turns.

“You can just tell me I was a dick,” Michael says, “leaving during Alex’s song? It was a dick move.”

Something like respect shines in Greg’s eyes and it surprises him how much he likes seeing it there.

“I was actually coming to see if you were alright,” Greg says, “I know what it feels like to walk away from Alex.”

“Yeah, it’s not the first time I’ve done that,” Michael mutters.

Greg nods. Again it’s really like seeing an older version of Alex. Michael always wondered how Alex managed to appear like a warped version of his father, especially when he was in his military uniform. Looking at Greg, he doesn’t have to. It’s not a warped version of Jesse, it’s the older Manes Alex has been emulating all these years.

“Is it the last?” Greg asks. Michael swallows and wishes that he had an answer. Greg doesn’t look disappointed, but Michael almost wishes he would. A faint smile that is not very comforting comes to Greg’s lips, “if it was, I’d tell you that the ‘dick move’ wasn’t just leaving during the song.”

“I’m not good for him,” Michael says, “not right now.”

“Who decided that?” Greg asks. Michael fumbles with whether or not the question is rhetorical, “I’m guessing it wasn’t Alex. All things considered.”

“Alex doesn’t always know what’s good for him.”

Even Greg can’t fully deny that one and the smile he gives is bitter but genuine, something Michael can’t help but reciprocate. Anyone whose loved Alex understands that. It’s part of loving him, even though it never gets any easier. Loving Alex usually means trying to keep him safe and happy—take the occasional breather, maybe eat every once in a while. But trusting that Alex knows what’s good for him is a whole other thing.

“So what would make you good for him?” Greg asks.

“Huh?” Michael looks at him, waiting for a sign he’s joking but Greg’s smile is gone and he’s really fucking serious.

“I asked what would make you good for him,” he says, “if you know you’re not, do you know how you would be? And what you would do to be there?”

Michael opens his mouth and then closes it. Saying he should be successful and stable, with a job and a college degree all seems insufficient. Saying he wants to have a house so Alex can come home and a name so Alex doesn’t have to grimace when he signs his seems so far off he guesses they’ll be old and grey by the time he accomplishes any of it. He opens and closes his mouth again and then has to shake his head. Greg gives away nothing as he nods. Michael has every reason to trust him but some part of him is still perversely glad that he doesn’t have a tool in his hand when he does.

“We both know my brother doesn’t love lightly,” Greg says, “none of us are wired that way. Now I don’t know what your plan is. I think you want to be with my brother and I think you’re willing to work to get there—“

“I am,” Michael cuts in. Greg gives him a look that has him locking his lips.

“But you’ve set Alex up to have his heart broken. Again.”

Michael winces.

That’s the thing, saying if Alex dates someone else they can be even—that’s bullshit. And they both know it too. Alex doesn’t date in half measures. Hell he and Michael haven’t dated properly and he hasn’t done half measures there either. He loves Alex and he knows Alex feels the same way. He also knows there have been times when the passion between them has been so toxic he’s stunned any of the love has made it through. Michael isn’t much better at the half measures thing. Which makes the realization all the worse.

“Shit,” he swears loudly, barely resisting the urge to throw the nearest tool. Greg looks relieved he caught on and less than thrilled at him swearing. Michael doesn’t care, “we needed a clean break,” Michael explains.

“Did you talk about that?” Greg asks. Michael looks away. Greg shakes his head, “it’s a little ironic how you know all our dark family secrets and can’t talk about your relationship.”

“It’s hysterical,” Michael snaps back, “shit,” he repeats, “I didn’t want to do this again,” he looks at Greg, “you gotta know I didn’t want to hurt him again.”

Greg gives him a hard look that is two thousand percent protective older brother. If Michael wasn’t so in love with Alex, he’s pretty sure he’d cave to it. The real irony is that of the Manes men who have threatened him to stay away from Alex, Greg is far more terrifying. Jesse may have done monstrous things but everyone still came out of it alive. Greg killed him to keep Alex safe. Michael’s seen it with his own eyes. Thankfully Greg is only looking mildly annoyed and frustrated, not murderous. Still Michael doesn’t relax.

“I know,” Greg says.

“Seriously I—“ he stops, “you do?”

“Yes,” Greg says, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” he sighs, “Alex has a date with Forrest tonight.”

Michael swallows the panic in his throat. Alex has a date. That’s a good thing, or it was before his big brother came and dropped some serious truth bombs on him. Now it’s not. If Alex is going on a date then he’s got feelings. Or the start of feelings. He refuses to fully name the feeling jealousy. It’s definitely mixed with his own worry about everything that Greg has just told him.

“I don’t want to ruin it,” Michael says.

“I don’t want you to ruin it either,” Greg agrees, “I also don’t want you to put my brother through another heartbreak,” he glances at his watch, “it’s 2pm. If you’re going to say something the sooner the better. His date’s picking him up at 8.”

Michael nods.

“Let me look at your car—“ he begins. Greg rolls his eyes, “your car’s fine,” Michael realizes, “got it,” he says, “I’m gonna—“ he motions towards his truck.

He manages to not get any speeding tickets as he gets to Alex’s house. Michael has no doubt that’s where he is. He hopes that Alex isn’t in the shower but that’s a bridge he knows he’s going to have to cross when he gets to it. He rings the doorbell quickly and when the door doesn’t open instantaneously, he finds himself pacing. He’s never been the best when it comes to talking about his feelings, especially where Alex is concerned. And Alex is embracing the fact that he’s some kind of wordsmith genius. Michael has no idea how much he’s about to be dressed down, but again that is a problem that belongs squarely in the later bucket.

“Guerin?”

Michael turns. Alex looks confused to see him standing there. Michael doesn’t know why he suddenly whips his hat off his head, maybe he needs something to hold. Or kill himself with if this blows up in his face. Concern is written all over Alex’s features. Michael gives himself one last moment to cling to the dream that he’ll be a good and whole man when he tells Alex his feelings. That he’ll tell him he fought his way back and beyond. Not just for Alex but because Alex has always made him believe in the good of people. The good of himself. He’s got nothing to back those words up with. It’s a hard fucking dream to let go of.

“I know you have a date,” Michael says. Alex clenches his jaw, “and I, uh, I was trying to get better. Swear to god I was,” he fumbles, “and I was gonna come back when I was,” he adds, “when I had proved I was,” he grips his hat tighter, “but I don’t want you to get your heart broken or have to break someone’s heart—“ he braces himself for Alex to laugh but he doesn’t.

“He’s nice,” Alex says, “I like being around him,” Michael nods, “there could be something there. We could be happy together,” he glares at him, “maybe you’re not the only one who wants to be good for someone, Guerin.”

“I deserved that,” Michael mutters.Alex’s glare turns venomous, “you are good for someone—you’re good for everyone,” Michael argues.  
“I don’t need a pep talk from you,” Alex says.

Fuck, Michael’s forgotten how hot quiet, confident and angry Alex is. Now is not the time to give into how attractive he is. Michael really thought he would be better at this. Even just the whole not focusing on how hot Alex is thing. But he’s failing pretty spectacularly at that as well.

“He’s nice,” Michael says, “and maybe you two are gonna be good together. But you don’t love him.”  
“I don’t know him that well,” Alex argues, “I could.”

“Yeah,” Michael agrees, though the possibility hurts, “you could,” he looks at him, “but it’s not going to be the same.”

Alex looks away. Michael reminds himself that the conversation was going to come back to this. It had to come back to this. Because Michael’s been at the crossroads where Alex is. But Michael’s a coward, he always has been. Especially when it comes to Alex.

“I wanted you to have a chance to be with someone else,” Michael says.

“Why?” Alex questions.

“You deserved it,” Michael says, “I know you don’t need me to tell you that,” he adds quickly.

“You think I deserve it because you dated Maria?” Michael nods. Alex sighs, “I can’t help you make us even for your decisions,” he says, “and I can’t do this,” he adds, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“I know,” Michael says as Alex turns, “look, I know. You’re not me, I know being even like that isn’t the same thing to you, it’s not to me either,” he tells him, “not when it comes to you.” Alex rests his hand on the doorframe but he’s not slamming the door in Michael’s face, “I thought about you dating him,” Michael continues, “and I thought about you breaking someone’s heart and—“ he swallows, “I don’t want that. I thought if I got better first it would be the right thing to do. But I don’t want to get better first if it’s gonna me you’re hurt in the process.”

Alex stays frozen and Michael is both glad and furious that he can’t see his face. He wants to know what Alex is thinking and he also wants to never see him again so he doesn’t have to feel rejected. He knows Alex could tell him to fuck off and if he does, Michael knows he’s going to have to figure out what to do next. If there is a next. He presses his lips together as Alex just stays there. It’s better than him walking away but it’s not exactly how Michael saw this going.

“Are you trying to say that you’re ready to be with me?” Alex asks finally.

“I’m saying I want us to both make that call,” Michael says, “I want us to meet in the middle.”

Alex whips around as Michael tries not to choke on his own pounding heart. He hadn’t meant to throw the lyrics out there. Alex’s cheeks go pink and Michael feels his own face turn red. Alex holds his gaze for a moment before he seems to come to some kind of decision.

“I’m not cancelling my date,” he says, “it’s in a few hours. That’s not fair to Forrest,” Michael nods around his breaking heart, “I’ll call you afterwards.”

“You don’t have to,” Michael mumbles.

“I’m not going to date him,” Alex says, suddenly a lot closer, “but I’m not going to stand him up or cancel with hours to spare after he asked me out and I said yes.”

Michael feels like he has whiplash.

“You’re not going to date him?” He repeats.

“I’m not going to promise anything,” Alex says, “we’ve talked about doing this before. It’s too soon to say if this is going to be different,” Michael nods, “but I’d like it to be.”

‘Me too.”

Alex holds his gaze and nods.

“Then I’ll call you later,” he says.

To his credit, Michael makes it until 8:30 before he parks himself outside of Alex’s house. He knows Alex doesn’t believe that they have to be even, but he doesn’t agree. Not on everything. Not on this. So he sits there. It’s hours before Alex’s car pulls up and when Michael sees that he’s alone, his heart jumps. Or maybe that’s also because Alex looks really good as he gets out of his car. When he walks up and sees Michael there he stops and shakes his head, though the smile on his lips is what catches Michael’s eyes.

“I was wondering why you weren’t home,” Alex says.

Michael swallows as he stands up. Alex went to his trailer. That’s the thing that turns over in his head as they close the distance.

“I was trying to surprise you,” he admits.

“I thought we could talk,” Alex says. Michael nods, “really talk. We need to talk about a lot.”

“Yeah,” Michael agrees.

“Should we—“ Alex’s lips press together and then part as he nods towards the door.

“Yeah, we should.”

Neither of them move.

“Guerin,” Alex starts.

“Yeah, uh—“

“What?”

Michael knows they’re supposed to be working on their communication and he doesn’t even get to say he’s human as an excuse. Which is good because excuses aren’t really something he’s interested in as he closes the distance between them. Alex inhales sharply as their lips touch, but after a moment he sighs into the kiss, his lips parting as Michael remembers what home feels like. It’s not a long kiss, he doesn’t expect it to lead anywhere, but they still wind up standing with their foreheads pressed together and the world fading away.

“Did I completely misread that?” Michael rasps and Alex shakes his head.

“No,” he says.

“Oh thank god,” Michael breathes. Alex gives him an amused but slightly dazed smile and Michael feels something unravel in his chest, “we should talk,” he finishes.

Alex nods and takes his hand and together they go inside.


End file.
